God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
