end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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