The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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