Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize