If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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