how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize