Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
