Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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