Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
