i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
