So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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