Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Randomize
