I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
