You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
