I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My ATM looks so different sober.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
