non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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