I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
