got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
