Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
