Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
