is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
