Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
