I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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