Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
