So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
