Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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