Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
