the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My vagina is officially offended.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
