What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
