turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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