At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think my moral compass just broke
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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