Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
