After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you had me at cake vodka
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
