I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
