belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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