There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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