found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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