thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're a waste of cheezeits
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
