Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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