I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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