hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
