Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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