so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
