How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
