if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
