She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize