rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
