Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
