You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize