why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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