Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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