Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
