she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
