Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
