I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
