i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Are we still banned from the library?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
