I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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