Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize