I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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