I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He felt like a one man threesome
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
