I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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