# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just had sex bonerless
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
