she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize