i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
