Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
