i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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