I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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